Sydni Ellis

For those of you who don’t already know, I make lesbian erotic films.  I write, cast, direct and sometimes perform in them, too. 

I have many illusions of grandeur.  It troubles me that porn never quite made good on its promise to become a sophiticated form of adult entertainment.  It concerns me that adult actresses and actors are snickered at by the “mainstream” world, their work discredited and devalued. Now that I understand the limitations inherent to a small film budget, I can see why so many people try to make porn cheap and dirty.  I realize there’s a market for people who like their porn served straight up with no dialogue or storylines, and with a concentration on explicit close ups and looping orgasms.   

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that; just that the bar is very low and it’s hard to get anyone to raise it.  Once it’s been established that money can be made by doing very little and catering to the lowest common denominator, why would anyone be inspired to do more?

When I was first introduced to erotica, I thought it magical.  Unlike regular books and movies, it aroused in me feelings and ideas that I had always considered private.  I was doubly intrigued by anything a bit interesting or smart, and when I found something I liked it made a huge and lasting impression.  In literature, the Victorian classic “A Man With a Maid” was my favorite book, and naturally, I worshipped Anaiis Nin.  When it came to films, I was drawn to the soft core lesbian variety.  I prefered stories where the relationships between women were depicted as rich and interesting and complex, both sexually and psychologically.

My goal as a filmmaker is to mix the hard and the soft.  I love hard sex and dirty talk and explicit shots.  But I also love good stories and depicting relationships as I have experienced them in the real world.  The relationships I’ve had, particularly with women, have been multi-faceted, complicated, baroque.  I have never fucked an Avon lady who came to my door selling lipstick, and never wanted to.  But I have fallen in love with a boyfriend’s female friend, I have kept secrets, I have silently struggled with situations and feelings that I knew would sound crazy to speak of aloud.  To depict those experiences fully, with the benefit of explicit and real sex to tell the whole story, is what my journey as a filmmaker will be about.